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Its a little difficult to look at directly I mean, it pulses and drums, thins and thickens, its enough to make a normal person nauseous, but if Im good at anything, its seeing things. The piles. I was in my office, sortin myself out. Good point. By the by, glasses guy, you happen to know what exactly is goin on in this camp here on this day? Really mad. Youre only human. God, this is a miserable world we live in. [Audibly relieved] Hey, I got through that bit pretty good, didnt I? Im not saying Im Batman but I am saying no one has seen the Riddler in Austin, Texas.. Rise and shine, my little hedgehogs, its time for another life-changing day of adventure at fun-filled Camp Here and There. Rebirth. He may not have understood his own delicate love, but he understood the delicate sciences of body and machine and when, one day, his love died tenderly on the clean sheets it was gifted our stupid, stupid Architect divided by zero. Skills that make me a dream for people like you. . It was a joke, like cloudy with a chance of hollandaise sauce, ooh, like its like, combining multiple current events in one clever reference. Lets have some good, wholesome fun out there, huh? She says that unless Cabin Dungbeetle steps down this afternoon, nobody thats right, nobody in camp is going to get dinner. My name is Salem de La Marnierre, and I am continually frustrated with how Sydney wields his authority. Embrace Her power! Read more, Audio data from various sources, detailing the events which occurred at SITE2 on day 955. Have you ever awoken from a deep sleep and found yourself unable to make a fist? Weve clawed our way to another lunchtime, and it may have left our fingers bloody but hey, what are forks for? Those are 2 measurements., Whenever I meet a pretty girl, the first thing I look for is intelligence. [Forcefully excited] Anyways, Lake Day! Help from all walks of life. Ive got to do it, campers, because nobody else is going to. Your full name and email is required. Uh. S-Sometimes. PSA: Make it a habit of reading the rules of each subreddit you participate in: . Did I do something wrong? When it came time for the sack race, I filled his sack full of baked beans. Special thanks to: Digitkey, EisenFire, Boson, AnotherAmber, GerdGenus, Amy, Danni the SpoonLord, Thomas, Hallie, Ant Harbin, Vander Beloved, Ace, Lil Doosie, Eli Bizzarri, Capybara named Joe, Leo, unfortunate Sydney kinner, Jusst_Honeybee, Ollie, Kris Oya, Rosemary the Honking Priest, Val, Malina Ziaja, Annie M, AK, Marcus Galas, Victor the Vampire, Amanita, Worlds Okayest Artificer, Fixx521, Fyn Clark, Jay, Ell Towers, Amy Jackson, Valery, Bogna Tomiak, Cas, Bumbles the Bee, Attibot, Spookykidz, Ella Pilchik, Tibby Caps, and Hanna Taustine. That doesnt make sense. Todays episode was written by Blue Mayfield and Nicholas Belov. She certainly wanted me to enjoy a gift, but I didnt want her to feel bad or make her have to do battle with the store or worse, spend another $100. If he didnt value these creatures when they were alive, why was he so affected by their deaths? As the Muse is immortalized through eternal slumber, you will love him. So, despite my personal struggles with hydrophobia, this is really possibly my favorite day of the year. Well, I guess I should use sisal rope first of all. So. Er, and, if any of you would like to take anti-auguric medication in advance, come see me. Honestly, I would be mortified if I gave someone a $100 gift card and nothing was on it. It was real good of you to stand up to that guy. [HE ATTEMPTS TO OPEN AND CLOSE THE DOOR AGAIN, GENTLER THIS TIME], Ah, friend, is it? It moves as if it was made this rotting abomination is clearly nothing more than an inanimate object on a magical string. Alright, kids, Ive got to go now. Like a fish or a hamster, beady and black, no shine, no thought, a pure vacuum that may suck you in if you get too close. But I dont think its a problem we have to get the kids involved with, because he honestly doesnt seem interested in them. You dont often see hips like that on a man. Our camp chef Matthew wishes to relay a statement on behalf of our trusty local grocer, HarmlessMart, which oh, [Paper rustling] hes handing it to me now, ah, yes, okay it reads, as follows: If you or a loved one have recently purchased or consumed HarmlessMart 300th Anniversary oranges, you may be eligible for compensation. Its not even her curse! Like, okay, sure, yesterday was challenging for Counselor Juniper, but hell be fine. and you cant even do that. Hey, campers. I shudder to think what would happen if the two species met. Whats the opposite of afternoon? Sometimes you have to be honest with yourself that trying to help certain people in certain situations can make things worse for everyone. If you want to see your dead pet or relative attain a more permanent state of reanimation, youll have to make the pilgrimage down to the Death Fields, a place where the Gravedigress illegal magics have long since seeped into the very soil. Marisol and Salem have been advocating to cancel this afternoons kayak race so that we might spend that time dealing with these serious issues instead yeah, Ive been down that road, girls. Penguin migration sure is exciting! Trust me, being a bit paranoid is better than rotting alive. Your co-nurse and your camp director, I never catch them sleeping, and theyre the last people wed want on your case right now. Ooooohhh well, the problem with that is that whenever I try, he says all these terribly unpleasant things. Yes, sure, okay. Heres a more optimistic perspective on all of this after todays excitement, youll probably sleep too deeply for nightmares. You would never have to let it go. I held a mirror up to him and he lost his mind. That way, everyone can work together to respond to the situation! Like, in camp? ), and decided you would suggest I just go buy a new one in the same flavor, so I could report back to her honestly how I liked it. Jedidiah knew what love and care looked like. I I- I help Sydney. She summoned a few of her [Sniff] Friends-of-the-Oak you know, those handsome wooden mannequins she enchants to do her bidding? Your muse. You you liked him. Its time for the lake-daily Lake Day report! Today I am recording a session of conflict mediation between two very perceptive and opinionated coworkers of mine. The part of Sydney Sargent was played by Blue Mayfield. Some counselors agree with me, and some dont, so were having a camp-wide meeting to resolve this issue. I know how hard it can be, but I believe in all of you. We took him to the lakeside and had a picnic with him, feeding him pebbles, since we figured that might be the sort of thing rocks eat. So, even if Lucille isnt listening, this ones for me. Thanks to this special powder, the fumes of the fire have been steadily dispersing dark, horrific visions, leaving the gathered campers with only one option for escape: astral projecting out of their senses. II mean that. I really like to talk. On your mental state. Hi, campers! The Elephant Man is dangerous. I cant handle the body. Sound editing by Emily Safko and Blue Mayfield. Todays episode was written by Blue Mayfield and Nicholas Belov. Yeah. To every other staff member who I dont know as well, please all of you have a great year. Hey, what are you doing on my microphone? You missed work for recreational activities?. When she's not writing, she watches TV series, plays video games, learns some Spanish (thanks, Duolingo! Its BARELY illegal. Okay. Okay, Im sorry for the metaphors! Some of the counselors almost sabotaged the whole purpose of the exercise by getting a bit too invested in winning and losing. Your melodic cries of protest turned the everyday show of activism into something like an angry festival. Cant be that. Like a slug. What a truly inspiring show of passion! Okay. Vegans get synthetic toad, specially engineered to taste remarkably like frog. I thought I was keeping her safe. Very creative. In case it still needs to be said if any of you happens to stumble upon a bruiselike purple growth with ruddy veins skittering about its surface, DO NOT TOUCH IT. Im thinking a lot. And so they reached over, grabbed counselor Juniper by his obnoxiously fancy lapel, and began shaking him around. The campers of Camp Here & There have been calm and peaceful today, and have done nothing to take advantage of Opposite Day for greedy and destructive purposes. I dont really know if he overpowered me or what. I love him more than anything, and I cannot do that to him. Its the symbol for the fairy market. His love project was complete and no reverence would pass between his cracked lips. And I stand before you on this rooftop, gazing down upon your circle of cabins, to deliver the good news! [Unenthusiastically] Opposite Day, woo. Uhmm. The time is 08:72, and the sky is a light, cool gray, like the skin of a relatively fresh corpse. I dont want to make any assumptions, but there is a fair chance that Jedidiah was not supposed to have that. I hope you would feel like I did a good job. And Lucilles grandfather clock? And Jedidiah Martin, the traitor, the temptor, he looked upon our muse in this perfect state he saw him and then he stood and he walked away. Starting now. Im sorry, I nobody here cares about the kids like Sydney does. We can talk. Youre allowed to keep secrets from me. And I want to help you. Have we all recovered from yesterday? Now that were together, we can wash all our worries and sins away. Well, thats unfortunate. Whats at the top? [SOFT KNOCK AT THE DOOR, AND THEN A CREAK]. That was supposed to be a joke. Camp Here & There is the sole intellectual property of its production company, Mayfield & Belov. Gabby combines wisdom with wit. Ah today was well, uneventful, in a certain way. Even the ants. The time is 8:63 AM, the sky is cloudless and vaulted, and the oracle fumes which emanate from the bonfire at the center of camp are telling me that today is shaping up to be the best. Well get this figured out. I walked for nearly 2 miles, back when my joints could still sort of handle it, drenched to my bones in cold water, and shivering until my teeth hurt. And I love that about you, but it doesnt always work. Tossed it aside. The kids in my cabin, theyre a trial, at the best of times. Common sense? I dunno. She says you have to give the package to me. Is my thing. The hands wind together as they spin. Your activities for the morning are falling over and standing back up. No. But its incidental. Special thanks to our patrons: Caroline the Dragon, Holland Engele, Bread on Toast, Moss Fox, and CartZ. You ask me, its another side-effect of that history museum. I had that attitude, and it got him abducted. None. Ive got mountains of paperwork to do, so if you dont mind. . Anyway. Ah, alright. Now, get climbing, because thats the only way out, and Im not sure whatll happen to you if youre still in there when the walls get shipped out tomorrow. I mean of course he doesnt. Im gonna head to bed now; I am tuckered out. It hopped over to the outskirts towards the woods and it ran into the Elephant Man. What, do we expect the kids to help us catch him? I uh, for the first time in a while, uh, [Inhales through teeth] I- I feel like I need to get some stuff o-off my chest. Hello, kids! And the time when a small, nondescript leaf sprouted from the skin on the tip of my finger. Spreading the word and discussing the show with other listeners is just as helpful! And if you start to feel a bit fatigued, or unseasonably cold, do the smart thing and run to the very edge of the woods, and just huddle there in abject terror. Speaking of Jedidiah, I still have no clue where hes been all day. Cant get hurt by a conversation I never have! For the rest of the Summer, I wont be leaving again of my own free will. Theyre mighty rambunctious fellows, the Hunters. Good evening, campers! If youve got any ideas, feel free to come down to the nurses office and chat with me about it but [Yawn] later. And you have me, and my head. The Elephant Man was in that bathroom. Every time I look over there, shes got him in a football huddle, muttering quietly but vehemently as if going over a game plan, while he just nods along. But you only seem to listen when Im angry! Mayfield & Belov presents: Camp Here & There. Sydney Im so tired. Thats a shitty, lonely way to live. Well not quite. Meaning the absence is official, and officially, its nothing to be concerned about. [He coughs more] Around 6:00 AM, when the sky was still green I was traveling from cabin to cabin to administer some morning medication, and there I witnessed it: our man Rowan took one sip of the sky and nearly collapsed. The part of Jedidiah Martin was played by Nicholas Belov. I never know. And he was like, what exactly am I supposed to be seeing here?, and I was like ugh, nevermind, just stop trying to slash at it! and he was like, but Im gonna save you!, and the campers were like, you should probably listen to Sydney, man, and thank you for that, by the way, and then Joshua stopped. Everything in her life is just overwhelmed by pain, and fear, and the never ending struggle to avoid it. [Singing] SYDNEYYYYYS GOT THE GOOOOOOODS . Get ready for toothpaste cupcakes . She knows these kids need a strong, male role model with my specific brand of roguish charm! Hes a nuisance, yes, like so many other things in life, but we really dont have any reason to think hes a threat. And we talked to Fennel. She also refuses to make it clear to me whether or not Soren has been fired, or just temporarily suspended which is rather frustrating. Isnt she so unreasonable? Well, obviously, I wasted no time signing it. This man and his short-sightedness, his ingratitude, his wasted genius he is the villain of this story. The trees had us hemmed in. Im all like, HISS! Sound editing by Emily Safko and Blue Mayfield. Im going to castle. So come on whats going on? The force of my panicked gesture sends me backwards, whereupon I tumble into an anthill. Is that all, Jeddie? I, uh, I couldnt quite tell what sort of creature it was from where it lurked within the shadows, but black feathers indicate corvids or, if were very unfortunate, perhaps. Where have you been since the mediation session? But again, I wasnt sure whether to tell my relative. I keep very close track of my worms, Jedidiah. I would be leaving him with nothing. Maybe the guy was messing with the schedule himself somehow, but, I mean, if thats the case, then he got away with that for four whole months. I really dont think I should tell you anything else, Sydney. No, yeah, he does. Sound editing by Cut by Frank and Beetlesprite. I do, and th-there is a lot that he works hard to keep to himself for the sake of the kids. None of you got to share in the pride of conquering an impossible obstacle. Please, my Muse dont speak down on yourself in this way. She was hunched over her desk in the administrative office, and she didnt really have time to humor me but based on her noncommittal grunt, I think it was a blanket no. So I dont think she was the one who wrote it here.

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